Check list for my new unemployed life

Today is the first Monday in 30 years I’ve been without a job, otherwise known as unemployed. Last Thursday I, along with about a dozen of my coworkers, were told our jobs were eliminated due to the fact the company we worked for isn’t making any money. Lay-offs. I was there for 15 years. So here I am now, at home, my first day of not being employed by anyone. It is sort of weird.

In order to stay on track (and stay sane) I’ve made a list of things to do while I’m unemployed.

  • File for unemployment insurance. Check. Did that already.
  • Look for work. I spent three hours looking this morning.
  • Keep a notebook with all of the job site passwords, user names and all things related.
  • Update resume. Tomorrow. Today it is too painful.
  • Clean the house. Not sure if I’ll get to that one.
  • Plan dinner.
  • Act like a stay at home mom. HA HA HA HA. Like I’m going to do THAT. Seriously so much of my identity has been identifying with the title “working mom.” I’m an amazing MOM and corporate type professional. Yes, I own suits and heels. I’d rather work in jeans but…I can do anything.
  • Get the mail.
  • Notice that the crowd in the grocery store is different in the morning than it is after work. The most fun are the late night around midnight shoppers.
  • Turn the sound up on the radio.
  • Think about going to the gym. GO TO THE GYM.
  • Avoid the kitchen.
  • Fill the bird feeder.
  • Make a huge cut out of a foot and make Sasquatch tracks on the trail in the woods behind my house.
  • Dance because NOBODY is looking.
  • Clean out my car.
  • Think about what I really want to do with my life.
  • Keep positive.
  • Keep positive.
  • Keep positive.
  • Stretch in the middle of the day.
  • Network. Contact everyone.
  • Try something new.
  • Think about how great I am and what wonderful skills and talents I have.
  • Take a deep breath.
  • Make up more bad puns to annoy my husband.
  • Have lunch with my husband.
  • Hang out with my husband during the day. He owns his own business so I can show up with the dog anytime I want and even give him a kiss.
  • Figure out a few interview outfits.
  • Clean my closet.
  • Buy cat food.
  • Pick my daughter up from school on Monday. I’ve worked all of her 15 years so the only day I’ve ever been able to pick her up is Friday.
  • Learn to roller skate. There is an adult class on Tuesday mornings. I’d be safer sky diving or swimming with sharks but hey, I like to live dangerously.
  • Get up every single morning by 6:30. Stay on a schedule. Don’t just sit around.
  • Stay un-lazy.
  • Create art.
  • Write.
  • Blog. (which is writing but a different kind of writing)
  • Read.
  • Finish my novel because there is a spot waiting for it on top of the best seller list.
  • Apply for jobs even if it is a trip-to-Mars long shot.
  • Don’t be afraid of people thinking I’m strange or different.
  • If I question anything the answer is always “go for it.”
  • The other answer is, “yes.”
  • Smile. A lot.
  • Don’t sell myself short.
  • Be brave.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Put stuff on ebay.
  • Develop my own reality TV show.
  • Become a YouTube star.
  • Call NPR and tell them I want a job. I have a lot to say and know a lot of interesting people and things. I also have a great radio voice.
  • Dance some more.
  • Pet the dog.
  • Pet the cats.
  • Look up old boyfriends on the internet. HA HA HA just kidding, I did that years ago.
  • Have faith in myself and my God given abilities. I’m not a religious person but I have untapped talents that need to be used – NOW – or I might get struck by lightning.
  • Make myself believe that now is my time.
  • Keep telling myself “NOW IS MY TIME.”


OK I’m off to the gym.


~ Marla

I'm going to look exactly like when I interview for jobs.
I’m going to look exactly like when I interview for jobs.
One of the things that bugged me about my old job was people who called women "girls." I'm trying not to think about that place.
One of the things that bugged me about my old job was people who called women “girls.” I’m trying not to think about that place.

Short Story Sunday: Christmas Orphans (a short random tale)

A wonderful light hearted Christmas tale… no I’m not saying that with a straight face, just read it and share it with all your friends and family.

Vampire Maman

“Why do I have eyes of different colors? The brown eye is my own. The blue eye is a different story. I plucked it from the freshly dead body of a young Irish nun. She’d killed herself because she had a vision that the child she was carrying, the child of the handsome young priest, was the Antichrist.”

“Why were you there Uncle Jeff?” A young voice in a hushed whisper asked.

“Because, my dear, I was the handsome young priest. That was before the life I live now. But I still see visions of angels and of a family in a warm embrace of love, then the fires of Hell with dancing devils and…”

“JEFF. STOP IT,” I yelled. “You’re going to give them nightmares.”

I know better than to ask my crazy brother to tell Christmas stories to my children and their young cousins.

“But, Simon, the stories are…

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What I hope you’ll tell your children about me

When you’re my age I’ll be 94. You’re 14 now. Things have changed a lot since I was 14. Then again a lot of things haven’t changed. But how I raised you is a lot different than how your dad and I were raised. 

I hope you will tell your kids:

My mom was so funny.

We laughed so much.

We always had fun.

At dinner we talked about everything. I could always talk with my mom and dad.

My parents guided me and were firm but they never judged me.

My parents told me how important for me to keep my reputation good.

They taught me the value of friendship and true friends.

They taught me to love art, science and history.

They showed me that it was ok to be myself.

They showed me that it was OK to be a little different without being weird.

They gave me a lot of hugs.

My mom put me first.

My mom taught me that only children are strong children.

My mom told me that even though I have a small family that I will never be alone. She was right.

My mom took me to concerts. She took me to the opera. She took me to rock concerts. She took me to a lot of rock concerts.

My mom was the cool mom. All of my friends liked her.

My mom was always busy.

My mom loved to read.

My mom wrote the most amazing stories.

My mom loved wine and her cats.

My mom always did what she thought was right.

My mom encouraged my dreams.

My mom believed in me.

My mom told me that I could do anything.

My mom and I had so many adventures – even after I was grown.

My mom worked full time and I’m so proud of her. She was great at what she did. She set a good example for me.

My mom always made me laugh.

My mom was so funny. I know I said that before but she was. She still is.

My mom loves me forever.

I love my mom.

And I love my daughter. She is so funny.



Unexptectd shorts

Click on the link here for unexpected short stories, usually with a twist or turn. Gothic romance, modern tales, paranormal, ghosts, gods, more romance, and a lot of humor: Short Stories (Stand Alone).


Vampire Maman’s Recommendations for Parenting Books

The ultimate list of parenting books  – click here for: Vampire Maman’s Recommendations for Parenting Books.

My recommendation about parenting is to DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR KIDS. Period. End of discussion. But read the article anyways because it will make you laugh.


California Afternoon, Vampire Guys (again), Parenting and Modern Life

Feel free to share this random bit with your friends – from the odd alternate universe. Click here for: California Afternoon, Vampire Guys (again), Parenting and Modern Life.




A Recipe for Change (with Vampires and Horrible Green Things)

Real Vampires don’t eat Quiche but everyone else does. Click here for: A Recipe for Change (with Vampires and Horrible Green Things).


This includes the recipe for a crust-less Quiche (it is real and tasty and easy to make.)



Searching for Vampires and Love Letters (and a monkey on your knee)

Weird and somewhat disturbing search terms used to find one of my blogs…Click here for: Searching for Vampires and Love Letters (and a monkey on your knee).