Personal History – West Coast Review

Moms of a “certain age” ROCK.

I’m pretty disgusted at the way the media and a few other writers try to explain how guilty “older mothers” should feel. They portray us as selfish work obsessed driven women who are desperately grasping at the last straws of youth. Give me a f_ing break.

Excuse me? What is their problem? Why can’t they just get over it? Why can’t they mind their own business? My great-grandmother was 44 when my grandmother was born in 1908. Women over 40 have been having happy, healthy, well-adjusted babies for centuries. And oh, did I forget to mention that women over 35 will continue to have SEX with men – and not feel guilty about it.

At 53 I feel younger and more hip than I have in years. No I’m not dressing in stupid looking clothes from the junior department or acting foolish.

The reason I feel young is because I have a 13 year old daughter.

She was born a few months shy of my 40^th birthday.

I didn’t delay having children due to my career. I just wanted it to be the right time with the right man.

Yes, I suppose, much to the chagrin of past boyfriends of mine (many of them nice, handsome, smart men) I could have just had a baby on my own but that didn’t happen. I didn’t want to be a single mom. Also the first man I’ll planned to have kids with died. I don’t have to explain that to anyone – and it isn’t anyone’s business.

I had a few infertility issues. No guilt there. I used painkillers during labor. No guilt there. I’m in my 50’s and not even thinking of grandkids. No guilt there.

Nor do I have guilt about only having one child. At least once every few weeks someone mentions how close my daughter and I are. We talk. We laugh. She talks and laughs with her dad. We’re a tight little family. And so no guilt there either.

I’ve had 5 miscarriages (the first when I was in my 20’s). I have one perfect, wonderful and amazing child. I am happy. No guilt there either.

If you are a good parent, no matter what your age, what your income, what your sexual preference or what your choices in your past life are – screw everyone who questions your judgment or makes you try to feel bad about your parenting choices.

There is nothing to feel bad about if you have a happy, healthy, successful, well-adjusted child with a good sense of humor. Period. End of article.

~ Marla Todd Kings (aka Charlotte’s mom)