A Message to my Facebook Friends: I Get it.

Love love love this post. I hope it goes viral!

Living The American Scream

I get it, you love to run and you’re killing it every day in preparation for some ridiculously pointless marathon when we all know the real satisfaction you get is from having enviable legs.


I get it, Crossfit has changed your life and you now firmly believe that if everyone did it, they would all be similarly transformed.


I get it, you only eat meat and your diet makes you strong like bull.


I get it, you only eat veggies and secretly wish to lynch bacon-lovers and throttle those who think Vegan is a newly-discovered planet.


I get it, you don’t really want anyone to know exactly what you’re talking about, but feel compelled to get something off your chest, so you opt for irritating ambiguity, your posts so obscure nobody knows whether it’s actually time to orchestrate an intervention.


We are all to some extent guilty.

I happen to…

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Don’t Panic… they grow up but that’s ok

Summer is in full force, which means the temperature is in the triple digits, the air is full of smoke from fires and everyone is trying to keep their wits about them. Sounds like Hell. It isn’t. It is Northern California and there is a drought so I expect it to be a long smoky summer.This isn’t anything new.

What is new is that my 18 year old Garrett is getting ready for college. I don’t even want to say that. It is both exciting and scary. Exciting for him. Scary for me.We’ve talked a lot, mostly just chatted about college and life outside of here, our house, our community.

Today we were sitting over herbal iced tea and the air conditioner turned up to full blast. Yes, we’re Vampires so you’d think we’d be under the house sleeping, but we don’t stick to traditional schedules. Besides it is summer. We’re just chilling.

I handed him a box.He opened it carefully then started to laugh when he saw what was inside. It was a beach towel with the worlds “Don’t Panic” on it.“

There’s more in there.” I told him.He picked up an object wrapped in white tissue paper.

via Don’t Panic… they grow up but that’s ok.

Dear Teacher: End of the year letters to high school teachers

Dear Teacher: End of the year letters to high school teachers 

Dear Mr. M,

My son will be starting college in the fall as an Environmental Science Major with a Minor in Art. Over the past 2 years you’ve shown him the connection between the world of science and that of art. Not just that, you’ve also shown him that through science and humanity all things are possible, all things inspire, all things are important – as long as it is based on truth and knowledge and understanding. You showed your students that being curious is a good thing. You opened up worlds full of possibilities mixed in with those cold hard facts and formulas that they must learn (or else.) You’ve made a difference, not just for my son but for hundreds of teens. They will change the world – and that is a good thing. Thank you.


Dear Ms K,

All year long I had to hear my daughter complain about you and about your class. Every evening she would describe the Bedlam type conditions in a room full of insane psychopaths and deviants and sex fiends. And there you were trying to be warden for these kids. Yes, there were a handful who wanted to be there and wanted to learn. Their grades might not reflect the fact that they did learn. At the same time my daughter was complaining about you and your curriculum she was also bringing up topics for discussion such as the comparison of presidential speeches. She talked about the books she claimed to hate reading (you have very different tastes.) The more she talked about you the more I told her that you were an amazing woman for teaching that class full of horrible monsters every single day. And you got through to kids. They don’t know that yet.One of my most popular blog posts was written about you. It was called Thank You For Pissing Off My Teenage Daughter. I could have emailed it to you but I thought it was better not to. You might have taken it the wrong way. But that said, thank you for staying in the battle and for educating your students – even the monsters.

Click on the link for the rest of the letters via Dear Teacher: End of the year letters to high school teachers.


What I hope you’ll tell your children about me

When you’re my age I’ll be 94. You’re 14 now. Things have changed a lot since I was 14. Then again a lot of things haven’t changed. But how I raised you is a lot different than how your dad and I were raised. 

I hope you will tell your kids:

My mom was so funny.

We laughed so much.

We always had fun.

At dinner we talked about everything. I could always talk with my mom and dad.

My parents guided me and were firm but they never judged me.

My parents told me how important for me to keep my reputation good.

They taught me the value of friendship and true friends.

They taught me to love art, science and history.

They showed me that it was ok to be myself.

They showed me that it was OK to be a little different without being weird.

They gave me a lot of hugs.

My mom put me first.

My mom taught me that only children are strong children.

My mom told me that even though I have a small family that I will never be alone. She was right.

My mom took me to concerts. She took me to the opera. She took me to rock concerts. She took me to a lot of rock concerts.

My mom was the cool mom. All of my friends liked her.

My mom was always busy.

My mom loved to read.

My mom wrote the most amazing stories.

My mom loved wine and her cats.

My mom always did what she thought was right.

My mom encouraged my dreams.

My mom believed in me.

My mom told me that I could do anything.

My mom and I had so many adventures – even after I was grown.

My mom worked full time and I’m so proud of her. She was great at what she did. She set a good example for me.

My mom always made me laugh.

My mom was so funny. I know I said that before but she was. She still is.

My mom loves me forever.

I love my mom.

And I love my daughter. She is so funny.



If you need something done ask a busy person.

Three vampires and a ghost go for a drive… Click here for a little Friday fun: If you need something done ask a busy person.


Vampire Maman’s Recommendations for Parenting Books

The ultimate list of parenting books  – click here for: Vampire Maman’s Recommendations for Parenting Books.

My recommendation about parenting is to DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR KIDS. Period. End of discussion. But read the article anyways because it will make you laugh.


An easy win is never a true victory – ethical questions for parents

Believe it or not Artistic Roller Skating is a real sport, alive and well. The members of the USA National Team do things to rival the Ice Skaters you see in the Olympics. It is a great sport…but like all sports there are some issues…

My 13-year-old daughter just qualified for the US National Championships in Artistic Roller Sports while at the SW Pacific Roller Sports Championships in Fresno, CA (for Arizona, California and Nevada).

In Artistic Roller Skating there are A, B and C skating events according to the abilities and experience of the skaters. Sounds good on paper, but there is a dark side of this sport.

We’re all happy today about skating BUT there are young skaters who should be going to the National Championships who are not. That is because overqualified A skaters who PLACE and WIN in A events are skating B events and winning. That is bad sportsmanship and ethically WRONG. What sort of satisfaction do the coaches and parents get out of that. It is totally jacked up. I’ve seen these kids work so hard all year. I’ve seen the B skaters improve and become great skaters – and then they have their spots stolen from them.

That is one reason good skaters are dropping out of the sport. I often wonder about the parents of the A skaters who skate B and win in both. How can they look at themselves in the mirror and not see a bad person? What sort of wrong messages are they sending to their kids. The easy A is no A. The one who dies the most metals/toys/prizes does not win if it is a hollow undeserving win. The life lesson isn’t there.

This is KILLING the sport. IT IS KILLING IT. This might be the last group of skaters because the rules are so jacked up. Every year there are fewer skaters at the skate meets. Every wonder why? Letting A skaters who place and even win turn around and skate B events is WHY. Yes, you selfish coaches and parents YOUR egos are killing the very sport you claim to love.

And to all of those B skaters out there who worked so hard this year – keep skating – when you’re grown you’re the ones who will be on top and you’re the ones who will be the true winners!

One more word…and this is not for all of the really great adult skaters from age 21-over 79 that I meet at the competitions and in the rink. You’re the ones who encourage the young skaters and inspire them. You’re the ones we look at and say WOW.

But there are those “others”. We all know who they are.

A big problem with the sport of Artistic Roller Sports is all the OLD TIMERS who go online or in the rinks and do NOTHING BUT COMPLAIN and talk about the good old days. Those who live in the past will get older faster. It is sad that a bunch of old haters are doing everything they can to ruin it for young skaters who are desperately trying to keep this sport alive. They complain about everything from the quality of the skaters to the dress styles. Well HEY you OLD FARTS – the kids skating now are doing an AWESOME JOB. They are skating better than you ever did. Their dresses are better than yours ever were. They are doing this almost dead sport out of LOVE. Love that you’ll never know in your black nasty old spiteful heart. So just SHUT THE F UP. You and your old fashioned outdated ways are why this sport can’t get corporate sponsors.

So to end on a higher note and a positive note: For all of the skaters who are out there…THIS IS YOUR SPORT. Take charge of it. If you don’t like what your coach is doing TELL HER. If you don’t like the rules WRITE THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE. Write a blog post. Put it on Facebook. Call USARS. Let them know what YOU WANT.


There is no such thing as a “part time mom”

I’m a working mom.

I am also a FULL TIME MOM. I will ALWAYS be a FULL TIME MOM.

I might not be physically with my child but I am always there. I am ALWAYS the mom – full time – even when I’m at my office job. I am there.

In the fall my daughter will be starting high school. I’ve worked full time since she was 11 weeks old.

I challenge ANYONE to be as close to their child as I am to mine or to have done a better job at parenting.

People are always telling me “You and your daughter are so close.” Indeed we are and that is no accident. She is a happy, successful and well adjusted child with a good sense of humor. She is independent. She is popular. She does well in school. And she looks forward to a hopeful future full of possibilities. She has the world in her hands. AND she is proud of her mom – and her dad who also works full time (and is a FULL TIME DAD).

The same goes for 99% of the working moms I know.

There is no such thing as a part time mom. Period. End of story. Enough.

~ MT

A Pop Quiz for My Teenagers

The most brilliant parenting post I’ve ever read.

Click here for:A Pop Quiz for My Teenagers.

Put down your coffee or you’ll spit it on the screen laughing…or this might just have you crying.

If you aren’t following the blog Brown Road Chronicles you should be. It gets the 5+ star rating from West Coast Review.

Things to Teach Our Children

Things to teach our children:

  • Winning/beating someone in a lower skill level is not winning. It is a sissy thing to do. Strive for higher goals not the easy win.
  • Winning is not everything.
  • Life is not fair so learn from your experiences.
  • Even when things suck know that you’ve done your best.
  • Some people have bad morals and values and you have to deal with it because THEY are not going to change. You have to stand by what is right.
  • Being involved in a sport does not mean you will always see good sportsmanship.
  • If you fall get back up and keep going.
  • Never give up.
  • Believe in yourself.
  • Support others.
  • You’re a good person if you do the right thing, treat other people fairly and stand your ground.