How to write a humour column

Drinking Tips for Teens

People sometimes come up to me and ask, “Excuse me, what’s the price of this cabbage?” to which I reply, “Sorry, I don’t work in the Produce Department; I simply enjoy the refreshing mist when they water the lettuce.” But sometimes they also ask, “How do you write a humour column week after week?”

After I ensure myself that they’re not asking “why” instead of “how,” I explain to them the long and complicated creative process, by which time the store is starting to close and they regret not simply ordering Chinese.

But I see you, reader, have plenty of time on your hands, given that you’ve even made it this far, so let me provide you a peek under my brain-lid where the creativity mice come up with the words, though more often than not just sit around scrolling through their Twitter feeds.

The first ingredient of a humour…

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