Why More Women Don’t Come Forward

We are afraid to come forward.

Why are we afraid we’ll loose our jobs, our friends, our relationships, or our reputations if we say anything?

Why don’t we tell everyone he lied about us?

Why don’t we come forward when we are stalked by an older boss, who drives by our house while his trophy wife and two kids wait at home? Why don’t we file a claim after he brings us to lunch, orders wine, and puts his hand on our legs. Why are we afraid we’ll be blackballed from the job market?

Why don’t we say anything when our asses are grabbed at parties. Why do we say anything when they talk about our boobs in ways that make us uncomfortable. Why don’t we say anything when our roommate’s friend expects to have sex with us, but we don’t really want to, but we do. Why do we take drugs or drink stuff because some guy told us to try it?

Why do we brush it off when guys touch us or say rude sexual things to us? Why do we ignore it and just move on?

Why do we let guys pressure us into doing things we don’t feel comfortable with. Why do we think that if we say NO they won’t like us. Why do we care if guys like that like us?

Why do we stay with men who brag about conquests? Why do we forgive men who talk badly about women who aren’t considered pretty? Why do we spend time around men who are threatened by powerful women?

Why don’t we say anything when men compare us with numbers. Why don’t we do anything when they expect us to look like models, or centerfolds, or Barbie dolls?

Why don’t we do anything when we say NO, and then we are called a bitch, a cunt, or a whore? Why don’t their friends say anything when they call us a bitch, a cunt, or a whore?

Why are we afraid?

We don’t do anything because we’re told:

  • Get over it.
  • It wasn’t that bad.
  • He just likes you.
  • You’ll lose your job.
  • It was nothing.
  • You should have been more careful.
  • You could have said no.
  • It was your fault.
  • Nobody likes you.
  • You liked it.
  • You’re a slut.
  • You’re a bitch.
  • You’re crazy.
  • You’re a liar.
  • You’re a whore.
  • You’re stupid.
  • I will ruin your life if you tell anyone.
  • I am more powerful than you.
  • I will hurt you.
  • You don’t matter.

That is why women don’t speak up.

All of the stories above are from women I know. There are many more stories like this. Thousands of stories. More than thousands.

It isn’t bad-boy locker room talk. It isn’t just being friendly. It is offensive, it is unwanted, and it is WRONG.

~ MT

 

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