15 Thoughts While Watching ‘The Revenant’

so... this is my life now

the-revenant-1

  1. Fuck. That must be so cold.
  2. They are so dirty. Are they amazed when they take a bath and finally see their skin again?
  3. WTF are they saying? Why is Tom Hardy using his Bane voice? Is he always hard to understand?
  4. Jesus Christ. That looks so cold.
  5. I hope the Native Americans win this one.
  6. Is it cold in here?
  7. Psh. That bear attack wasn’t so bad.
  8. OHMYGOD THAT BEAR!
  9. I am so cold.
  10. Bane, you asshole.
  11. Leo really needs Chapstick.
  12. Cold.
  13. CHAPSTICK. I NEED CHAPSTICK. WHY ISN’T THERE CHAPSTICK IN MY PURSE?!
  14. Motherfucker. It is cold. Why didn’t Alamo Drafthouse serve hot chocolate with this movie?
  15. OHELLYES. Totally saw that coming, but loved it anyway. Fuck yes.
  16. I am freezing and I am going to wear my fuzzy pajama pants and my fuzzy slippers and drink hot tea as soon as I get home. And Chapstick. OMG Chapstick.

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